Walking away... an act of survival!

Back in March when lockdown first hit Scotland, like everyone I know, life changed forever.  The ability to seperate my personal and professional life became impossible through working from home, my phone never stopped pinging with messages and emails and ... well ... overwhelmed was an understatement.  I had to find a way of releasing the pressure.  So for an hour every day I started to go out walking.

("Corona walks 5/..." by koen_jacobs is licensed under CC BY-ND 2.0)

At first, it was a chore.  Every bone and muscle in my legs and lower back were killing me.  But over time that got easier.  Why did I keep going though?  Why keep walking when it was so painful?  Truth is I didn't know why I was doing it.  I just knew I needed to do something.   I was going on instinct more than anything else. 

Eventually it became a habit, no matter what, come lunch time each day I closed my laptop and went for my walk.  It wasn't painful any more, but it wasn't something I particularly enjoyed.  I did it just because it had become routine.  But why routinely do something you don't enjoy?  Again, I just knew that it was something I needed to do.

Enjoyment came later.  During lockdown I remember commenting on how I could hear the birds singing because there were no cars on the road.  I remember passing people on the street, people I had never met before, and saying, "Hello", just because we had noticed each other.  I remember wandering through the cemetery and being mesmerised by the local wildlife that just cheered me up.  


I realise now that I've been adopting mindful practices, slowly, instinctively, without being taught, but gradually without even knowing I was doing it, what once was a chore became a joy.  Today reflecting on the journey I had taken I wondered how I had turned a chore into something joyful, meaningful and important to me.  I didn't really understand the journey I had taken.   So I started to read.

Haley and Delagran (2016) highlight studies that suggest mindfulness actually produces physiological changes in our brain.  There is a link provided below for anyone who wants to read more about this.  Ultimately these changes produce changes in our behaviour and there are distinct benefits in terms of our ability to deal with our emotions.  The authors specifically refer to changes in the way we experience the emotions associated with pain and the way our response to fear can be reduced.  

For me, my mindful practice evolved naturally through need.  I needed to find that calm place and I needed to condition myself into a routine that enabled me to block out the environmental stressors that I was being subjected to.  The act of closing my laptop and walking away from it for an hour or so every day was an act of sheer will power.  Not asking permission, but taking control of my environment.  Psychologists might argue that what I was experiencing was a reflection of my body's hardwired "fight or flight" survival response.   But therein lies the rub - how bad must things be when your body goes into that mode?

At this point is anyone else thinking about the amount of fear and pain going around?  

It is well known that change inspires fear.  And this year has certainly seen a lot of change.  We are afraid.  As teachers we are living to get through the day and in the process trying to help our students to get through their day too.  As educators if we then extend our view to encompass our students fears and anxieties, can we (or even should we) teach our students mindful practices to prevent them from executing their fight or flight survival response?  After all, fight or flight responses in our students translate into hard statistics for learner retention and achievement.  But is it not a tragedy when our motivations are driven by accountability in this way rather than being driven by kindness, empathy and care that are sadly omitted in an education system that is driven by learning outcomes.  Karl Mark would have a field day with this sort of functionalism.  

How often do students say, "I hate this online learning!!  It's not working for me."  Indeed I've heard colleagues say the same.  The amount of stress and anxiety going around really requires an approach to education that is inherently mindful.  There are challenges in achieving that however.  

I've been to workshops where the benefits of mindful meditation have been expounded at some length.  But it all felt a bit 1960's hippy to me.  I've looked at apps and tried breathing techniques.  But I would never teach or prescribe these approaches to students because I don't think its right.  If a student looks at me as their teacher or mentor and I say, "This is how to do mindfulness", when there are so many other approaches that could be used, am I preventing that learner from finding the right mindful technique that works for them?  

I myself searched for a long time before I found a technique that worked for me.  But ultimately I can't deny that this was an important process for me to go through because without my mindfulness practices I wouldn't have been able to get through this year.  I've definitely been on a journey comprised of lots of small steps.  I just hope that by sharing my experience of mindfulness practice that I can inspire other people to think about taking that first step, that act of will power which enables you to take back control and switch off from the stressors.  It's an act of survival!

Does anyone out there have any mindfulness practices they share with students or colleagues?  I'd be really interested to hear about them.  Please do add comments below.

You can follow me on twitter.
@McintoshMclean.

References

Haley, A. and Delagran, L. (2016) How does mindfulness work [Online].  Available at:  https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/how-does-mindfulness-work (Accessed 27th November 2020).  










Comments

  1. I just grit my teeth and keep going

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can identify with that Kieran. That's exactly what I was doing at the beginning of lockdown. I just kept walking even though I didn't want to - I just knew I had to.

      Everyone has a different way of coping. But this worked for me.

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