Signing off for a while
What is loneliness? I know that I'm lonely, but how do you describe it? And how did I get here? I think loneliness is longing for a deep connection with someone but you can't find one. Strangely, for me, even when you do find a meaningful connection I'm so affected by the consequence of past experience that I choose to cast people aside preferring the predictability of the solitude I've always know to the risk of being unbearably hurt again. Hmmm... someone told me not long ago that I made a choice just like that. I cast them aside and I hurt them badly in the process. I acknowledge that and I'll always regret the hurt I caused. I tried to apologise but the truth is I lost my closest friend that day. But that's what I do. I hurt people and then, in doing so, I hurt myself. It's a sinister form of self-sabotage. I see it frequently in the students I work with. But now, today, I see it in myself. I s...